They're a good 7 inches, but as a wise man once remarked, it's really about the girth. Which is a further 2.5 inches (I thank you). Surely only the greediest among us wouldn't be satisfied with that.

Our candles are made of glass, clean burning parrafin wax, high quality vinyl images and enormous affection.

Nope. Though we’re working on one that smells like Channing Tatum.

ES! We love creating specialist candles and these are fast becoming our most popular item. You, your husband, wife, dog - you name it. They’re great fun – and they make the best gifts. See our custom page.

We pack super well, but on occasion it's looked like the postman's played football with one of our packages. If this happens (and it's very, very infrequent), send us a pic of the breakage and we’ll get you another one straight in the post.

If you’re not happy with your candle, you can return it within 14 days for a full refund. Return shipping is your responsibility. Just email us to get a return address and we’ll refund purchase cost once we’ve received the return.

We do! (candles only) All our packaging is recyclable whether you choose the £3.50 gift wrapping option or not, but if you go for this option you’ll get you candle wrapped in protective waffle card with an outer layer of tissue paper, tied up with string and nestled lovingly in a wood wool may (which looks like hay). Plus a hand written card. Just like in the pic. Tell us of anyone who wouldn’t love to receive that.

Just contact us – we do big orders for dinner parties, bulk gifts, etc etc and we'll sort out a rate for shipping.

We’re a couple of friends based in rural Kent who started this as a side hustle, a bit of a lark. If you can really be arsed you can read the whole tale here. But the long and the short of it is that ours is a kitchen-table venture. We get to hang out together and tit about making camp candles which make us laugh. We think it’s great fun, and hope you do too.

We’re not affiliated with any of the folk portrayed or sainted on our site. If you believe you own the copyright to any part of our artwork please do get in touch (we really don’t want to hack anyone off).