Garland Saint Wine
YOUR FACE. ON A SAINT. ON A BOTTLE OF WINE. AMAZING!!
And you get to personalise the text on the bottle too!
Just upload your picture here (any clear face pic will do), enter any text you’d like in the text box (we usually recommend the person’s name with Saint before it, but hell, you can be as creative as you like) and - voila - Mrs Sainted will send you a proof within 48 hours – then a glorious bottle of wine will be winging its way to you by Royal Mail tracked delivery.
THE WINE ITSELF...
Forget the vicar’s tipple – this is BETTER. Our wine is smoother than the vicar’s nuts. Or any choirboy’s for that matter. It’s a 2018 merlot, full bodied, rounded red wine that’s oh-so-easy to drink , and gives long lasting pleasure on the tongue. A bit like the vicar. Delish.
And it would be silly to think this is a one-off pleasure – much like our candles, these bottles make the best keepsakes. Refill them, stick a candle in them, or just keep them on the shelf where your gorgeous little saint will look benevolently down on you. Guaranteed talking point for years.
The boring bit: you have to be over 18 to order this. Seriously. You have literally NO IDEA how many hoops we had to jump through to get licensed for this little endeavour. We practically had to caress Carol from the Council. Even though Mr Sainted is enormously confident of his touch (and yes, it was VERY reluctantly applied), we really, really do want to stay in Carol from Liquor Licensing’s good books. So natch, by purchasing it, you confirm that you’re over 18. Still with us? That’s because you’re amazing. Have a drink, over-18 year-old. Of wine. You’ve earned it.
We create and dispatch candles and sanitisers within 2 days of receiving an order. We ship by Royal Mail First Class, which usually arrives the next day. (We actually tried Hermes to begin with, until a customer actually described using them as a bit like sucking Satan’s cock. We agreed – very bitter aftertaste - so now we’re with good old, reliable Royal Mail)
Items that aren't candles/sanitisers ship separately, as they're created using special machinery, off-site. They cost the same as candles and also go Royal Mail First Class - because of Rona-related hell, allow up to 7 days from ordering for other Sainted items to dispatch.
We try to keep shipping prices simple so with this in mind:
Orders up to £30 - £3.99
Orders up to £35 – £5.99
Orders over £35 - FREE
We know lots of people order on mobile phones – please double check the shipping address as we can’t send replacements out when the package goes to the wrong address (trust us, it happens, usually because of auto-fill settings!) Because of the way our system is set up, we can’t change the shipping destination or the order (including gift card text) after it’s been placed.
Sadly we don’t ship internationally anymore. We did, but it was a bit of a ‘mare, so we decided to focus on doing what we do well, so we’re now UK-only. SORRY….
If you happen to be in the States, there are some terrific celebrity prayer candle makers there who can ship to you waaaay cheaper than we can anyway, so have a google for these and you’ll actually come out ahead. Result!
REFUNDS AND RETURNS
Of course we accept returns on candles! If you don't absolutely love your saint (never happened yet by the way), drop us a note at firstname.lastname@example.org and let us know you're returning it - we'll issue a refund as soon as it arrives. Return postage is the sender's responsibility, and as soon as we receive it, we'll issue a full refund and let you know we’ve done so.
Items other than candles and santisers aren’t returnable, as we don’t make them ourselves (we’re good, but our skills don’t extend to moulding perspex, bookbinding or making cushions and canvases). Of course if something is wrong with it, we'll absolutely refund. This is thankfully exceedingly rare. We'll refund on receipt of a picture the damaged or imperfect item (same email: email@example.com).
We pack super well, so it rarely happens, but if the postman decides to play football with your beloved package before leaving it with you, just send us a picture of the damaged item and we’ll refund you right away.
Everything that leaves us is in A1 order and we’re pretty fastidious about that. But if for some reason it reaches you in less than that, just like with breakages, contact us with a picture (send to firstname.lastname@example.org) and we’ll refund immediately. We genuinely want you to love your order as much as we love making it but if it isn't right, we'll give you your money back.
WE'RE REAL PEOPLE
Lastly, you'll always get a proper, human, non-cut-and-pasted response from us. Though Mrs Sainted might have to pull herself away from drooling over pictures of Zac Efron and Mr Sainted might have to do the same, we're pretty quick on email, and pretty much always around. And we love to chat. About pretty much anything (though our products are our speciality).